Let the Games Begin!

It’s been a bit since I last ran a tabletop role-playing game and I am antsy as all get out to get back into it. And so I’m looking for four friends to play in some TTRPG adventures that I want to run online, starting in January. Friends who like playing “Let’s Pretend” for similar reasons as I do, who like hamming it up when playing their characters, who like “yes, and”-ing their fellow players, and who have the time, energy, and interest in committing to playing regularly (every two weeks, preferably, around 3 hours for a session). (more…)

10-17-2025 | 6

The Other Side of Unintentional Tears

I’ve been living with ADHD and Generalized Anxiety pretty much my entire life and was diagnosed with both over 10 years ago, so it would be sensible to think I would no longer be surprised when I have a sudden mood shift and I wouldn’t wonder what could have specifically caused it. I mean, I’ve only been wearing glasses since I was 30, but I don’t wonder why it’s harder for me to see with them off. And yet, every time I suddenly go into flight, fight, or freeze mode, every time I suddenly feel onerously overwhelmed and frustrated, it’s like it’s the first time it’s ever happened and I don’t know why it’s happening.

Every. Single. Time.

Somewhere, on the other side of a mirror or through a particular dense shadow in the attic of an old house, there’s a Josh who has learned to expect these things. Maybe he’s prepared for them, maybe he isn’t, but he’s not surprised when they hit him out of the blue. He’s not a better person than I am, but I envy him nonetheless.

7-26-2025 | 2

The Tooth Will Out

Last year, I developed one heck of a toothache. The pain had mostly subsided by the time I got myself in to see my dentist, so I thought “It must have just healed on its own,” because I can be hilariously optimistic and naive when it comes to my health. My dentist looked at the tooth, in the back of my lower jaw, and said “Yeah, you need to have a root canal.” My first root canal! How exciting! (I’m being very liberal in the use of “exciting”, especially considering my high anxiety around all things dental.) She gave me a referral to an endodontist and I made an appointment. The endodondist and his staff were incredibly nice, which helped keep me calm during the procedure. Which the endodontist wasn’t able to finish because it turned out my tooth was too far gone for a root canal. The little guy needed to be extracted. This did not make me happy. (more…)

7-08-2025 |

Feeling the Byrne

When I was younger, I was a huge John Byrne fan. I loved his art on X-Men, I loved his Alpha Flight and his run on Fantastic Four, and other comics work. He’s turned out to be pretty problematic, but I think he did two really great things in comics.

One was rebooting Lex Luthor from an over-the-top, fairly ludicrous Mad Scientist into a narcissistic capitalist billionaire. That Lex Luthor makes a much more compelling and interesting enemy for Superman, a perfect foil for the Kansas farm-raised immigrant turned selfless protector of the exploited. At this point, it’s difficult to imagine Luthor as anyone other than ruthless rich guy.

The other was in Alpha Flight (Canada’s one and only superhero team!), when Marvel Comics editors told him he wasn’t allowed to say that team member Northstar, one of the characters he created, was gay. In response, he queercoded Northstar, dropping in bits of dialogue and exposition that went over my head in my teens, but rereading them as an adult they clearly pointed to Northstar not just growing up gay but growing up lonely and confused, a gay mutant who grew up in a society that didn’t support or approve of either identity. It added depth and facets to the character that wasn’t allowed by the powers that be to be openly gay until the ’90s.

I have to give credit where credit is due, he’s done some really good, iconic work in comics, but even better, he did some things that have continued to resonate in significant ways. For that, I appreciate him.

7-07-2025 |

I Never Wished to Be Big

Every morning, I wake up wondering why anyone thought it would be a good idea to let me live alone and take care of myself and a cat on my own. And I wonder what I did the day before to make my body ache the way it does. Then I look in the mirror and I’m surprised to see an adult body there.

I never wished to be big. When I was a kid, adults seemed too big and smelly. They were angry and sad too often, yelling at each other and the kids and pets around them. They complained about their jobs and not having enough money. Why would anyone want that?

I never wished to be big, but it happened anyway, so I’m making the best of it, But it’s still a weird moment every morning.

6-26-2025 |

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