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Fevers Like Faces

the shiver i feel in my toes
that i know will go away
in time will still decide
my actions in the coming day

don’t freeze the hour in glass
alone again but in a crowd
the phoenix rising from the snow
just like the shiver in my toes

& the hand clutching my heart
my bones shaking in the sun
in time will still decide
my actions that will go away

but what the hell is this
alone again but in a crowd
the cold that grabs the saddest bones
crying in the coming day

At Rest, in Motion

My fellow ADHD people! When you’re sitting or laying down, do you tend to feel more and more lethargic but also restless? Unmotivated and unfocused? Gluestuck in torpor? Do you feel more motivated and focused when you’re not just standing up but moving around? Or is that just a me thing?

I’ve become more aware that my mood and energy levels frequently drop like a tranqed bear when I’m sitting or lying down. Standing in place is better than sitting, but when I actually get moving, I tend to be more cheerful, positive, and energetic. I was never a physically hyperactive child–which is probably one of the reasons my ADHD went undiagnosed for so long–and exercise routines don’t do much for my mind, but more and more, I’m finding it harder to motivate myself and be mentally active when I’m being physically inactive. I wonder if that’s pretty typical for people with ADHD or if it’s more personal.

Pademelon

here we go

green sleeves & ice blue sky
this day came without warning
warped into morning
for nothing no crying display

like squirrels on tuesday
you came on without warning
bells ringing like seashells
jam-soaked in the dawning

but what
could ever possibly
compare
to your wallaby tears
at the joy of a new calling

Scissored Sweetness

thought but thoughts are open
i’m all alone
left with squirrels having sea-thoughts
having over no dark

i’m buried with the drowning she loves
caught seas thought under over one last
i’ve got it sparkling
i’m seized away the having inside
but is that magic killing me
having hopes

she thinks that chest is my haven
no caught all intensifies the need to ocean
a moon nocturnal with shining crowns
over ghosted & over that sees hand showers
devils dancing in desert rains
nickname stars to freeze & thorn

we’re angels to the night
but you are my upside
these stars are nothing catch seven but toy days
just desserts that sap bad suns
crystal chosen hold all nothing
see the peppermint here

silver something swim deeps left
& i’ve thought that down in my heart
the kingdom left
i’m all alone

Threadbare

tell me a story & make it a good one
the bear you summoned from the depths of sleep
is a hobgoblin for the exit of hotels
your patched umbrella reflecting notifications
doused in the finest kerosene perfume

tell me a story, my fine wicked friend
& make it a good one to bash out of houses
distaff & defaulted from one end to the next
demented like dragons forsaken repose
in the outlying fields
windswept & barren
but full of the most candlelit desires

tell me a story, you clever one
not half-remembered but colorfully dreamed
without distance
designed in the smoke of the city
forever insisting
to be misunderstood in the mind

& the heart enigmatic
a wonderful waystation
to endlessly tell me a story
& then fall to sleep