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Your New Blue Crush

a fountain wants to the sea
around like in your words of a whole
is in as a lion when the over & under
& bordered on sea is you jumping upside-down
same infatuation i don’t know indelicate eyes
i’m next to just a burned feeling
like over & bursting with now nothing knight
i’m standing in the system for your eyes, my prestidigitation

i’m current, i’m over again & my youth
with all sides still can’t curl up rugged viking
a not-so-innocent red just really working on tricks
when ideas want to fool you
who like a teddy bear the moon wants inspiration
for impotent energy broken down on a dream
i’m standing in the system for your eyes, my prestidigitation

i’m wanting to remember how indigo i joked
i jazzed-up as a nerd was in my just eyes
i’m incoherent subtexts telescope & into atoms
lapping up a kiss when you’re not in my jest
with meaning this such & such
the man i’m dismantling structures once
it kiss you of stagnation not my magic
i’m standing in the system for your eyes, my prestidigitation

Fevers Like Faces

the shiver i feel in my toes
that i know will go away
in time will still decide
my actions in the coming day

don’t freeze the hour in glass
alone again but in a crowd
the phoenix rising from the snow
just like the shiver in my toes

& the hand clutching my heart
my bones shaking in the sun
in time will still decide
my actions that will go away

but what the hell is this
alone again but in a crowd
the cold that grabs the saddest bones
crying in the coming day

At Rest, in Motion

My fellow ADHD people! When you’re sitting or laying down, do you tend to feel more and more lethargic but also restless? Unmotivated and unfocused? Gluestuck in torpor? Do you feel more motivated and focused when you’re not just standing up but moving around? Or is that just a me thing?

I’ve become more aware that my mood and energy levels frequently drop like a tranqed bear when I’m sitting or lying down. Standing in place is better than sitting, but when I actually get moving, I tend to be more cheerful, positive, and energetic. I was never a physically hyperactive child–which is probably one of the reasons my ADHD went undiagnosed for so long–and exercise routines don’t do much for my mind, but more and more, I’m finding it harder to motivate myself and be mentally active when I’m being physically inactive. I wonder if that’s pretty typical for people with ADHD or if it’s more personal.

Pademelon

here we go

green sleeves & ice blue sky
this day came without warning
warped into morning
for nothing no crying display

like squirrels on tuesday
you came on without warning
bells ringing like seashells
jam-soaked in the dawning

but what
could ever possibly
compare
to your wallaby tears
at the joy of a new calling

Scissored Sweetness

thought but thoughts are open
i’m all alone
left with squirrels having sea-thoughts
having over no dark

i’m buried with the drowning she loves
caught seas thought under over one last
i’ve got it sparkling
i’m seized away the having inside
but is that magic killing me
having hopes

she thinks that chest is my haven
no caught all intensifies the need to ocean
a moon nocturnal with shining crowns
over ghosted & over that sees hand showers
devils dancing in desert rains
nickname stars to freeze & thorn

we’re angels to the night
but you are my upside
these stars are nothing catch seven but toy days
just desserts that sap bad suns
crystal chosen hold all nothing
see the peppermint here

silver something swim deeps left
& i’ve thought that down in my heart
the kingdom left
i’m all alone