Monthly Archives: March 2014

Monsters of the Id

From 3rd grade to 8th grade, I wrote, drew, and daydreamed lots and lots of comics. One character I created was Monster Man. (I’ve reproduced him here as best as I can remember him.) He was clearly inspired by the Hulk (a pretty prominent character for kids at the time), Forbidden Planet (a movie that made a big impact on me when my mother took us to see a showing of it on the big screen), and my own anxieties about being teased for being shorter and more sensitive than most other boys my age.Monster Man!

Monster Man was a shy, little guy named Tim Id. (Tim Id, get it? Get it?) When Tim was threatened, when he felt nervous or frightened, he would transform into some sort of huge monster, about twice the size of, say, Andre the Giant. The monsters tended to look like a cross between a dragon and an ogre or a smaller version of Godzilla. When I drew scenes with Monster Man becoming a monster, the bad guys were generally scared enough at the sight of him that there was no need for any actual fighting. The bad guys just ran away, drops of cartoon sweat flying off of them, and Monster Man never actually hit anyone.

I haven’t thought about little Tim Id much since middle school, but I still like his punny name and his simple costume. And while it’s been a long time since anyone tried to bully me, I can still call up the feelings of being threatened and teased, and I appreciate the power fantasy of Monster Man.¬†ROOOOOAAAAAARRRRRRR!!!

Jump Cut

i really wish i could
be the boy in that frame
the one in old-movie grey all manhattan-sharp
& paris-smooth the boy you constantly
study but instead i just
stand here quiet & small cudgeled by my
kansas banalities

& you dance
like a spider on fire i swear
i could never
move like that serpentine byzantine
gilded, glided, glad like a marionette
with no strings

but the scene
is over
that’s it, that’s
all & i got cut out
thrown to the floor i’ll
never be with you again
i’ll never be with
you again my only chance

& it could be
cold it
could be dark but i guess
it’s not

i’m okay, i’m here in this
brilliant room with
my hands in the air
& my face in the
screen looking for traces of you

what do i hope
to find? a peace of
mind? a piece of time? a sign
of my important fate? it’s just
& snow & the scent
of dust when i brush it away there’s
still more underneath
that’s it, that’s all & i fall
to the floor we’re alone
we’re alone we’re alone in
the world my
only glass half-full

Burning Down the Candy

you are the glorious one
i can see through my
eyes the statue in the palace the
goddess in the temple the fire that burns
in the rainy night

& i’m walking down the street
in the middle of the day
trying to think of all the words
i can say to remind you of your
magic & strength to remind
you of your majesty
& grace

& if the world is blowing
up we can go dance in the mud
watching the world
burn down knowing that the
two of us will go on eternal & delirious

(cats see you as something sticky & sweet–
the bed sees you as something tasty to eat)

& if there’s blood on my hands
i’ll plant a forest
for you &
build a mountain to the
moon & turn into a tiger
prowling all around your rough edges bright-eyed &
breathing hot

you are the
radiant one i saw in my dreams
all through the
night every night (every night) all wrappedup
in leaves & moss & bearfur

& i’m dancing in your head
in the middle of the
night weaving my
enchanted alphabets down
on my knees
with my teeth in the clouds
down on my hands with my tongue
on your tattoo

& if the flowers in my
mouth turn to salt & sour sap
i’ll nail my thunder
to the walls of
your cave &
turn into a tiger prowling all
around your garden bright-eyed &
damp with starlight

& if the oceans are
all rising we can go dance in
the flood watching the
world go down knowing that
the two of
us will go
on & on & on & on & on…

–because you are sticky & sweet!