Monthly Archives: December 2017

Year’s End Self-Diagnostic

It’s been a while since I wrote about how I’m doing. Considering how little I’ve posted over the year, the short answer is: not great. But thankfully, the long answer is much better than that. (more…)


Dignity and a Plum

dragon on deck with the wilting force of fame
our cereal love opens up like a flower
bee swarm is buzzing in violet defusion
caught in the gold rush longlost forgotten

our cereal love opens up like a flower
nothing at all what it seems
our cereal love opens up like a flower
nothing but half-frozen dreams

unless
& until
dusted over
in the gold rush longlost forgotten
before the bee storm
swarming in azure misremembering

listen
to the northwest sky
rockets rebounding like a
dragon on deck with the wilting force of fame
again & again & again

our cereal love opens up like a flower
nothing at all what it seems
our cereal love opens up like a flower
nothing but half-frozen dreams


Your New Blue Crush

a fountain wants to the sea
around like in your words of a whole
is in as a lion when the over & under
& bordered on sea is you jumping upside-down
same infatuation i don’t know indelicate eyes
i’m next to just a burned feeling
like over & bursting with now nothing knight
i’m standing in the system for your eyes, my prestidigitation

i’m current, i’m over again & my youth
with all sides still can’t curl up rugged viking
a not-so-innocent red just really working on tricks
when ideas want to fool you
who like a teddy bear the moon wants inspiration
for impotent energy broken down on a dream
i’m standing in the system for your eyes, my prestidigitation

i’m wanting to remember how indigo i joked
i jazzed-up as a nerd was in my just eyes
i’m incoherent subtexts telescope & into atoms
lapping up a kiss when you’re not in my jest
with meaning this such & such
the man i’m dismantling structures once
it kiss you of stagnation not my magic
i’m standing in the system for your eyes, my prestidigitation


Fevers Like Faces

the shiver i feel in my toes
that i know will go away
in time will still decide
my actions in the coming day

don’t freeze the hour in glass
alone again but in a crowd
the phoenix rising from the snow
just like the shiver in my toes

& the hand clutching my heart
my bones shaking in the sun
in time will still decide
my actions that will go away

but what the hell is this
alone again but in a crowd
the cold that grabs the saddest bones
crying in the coming day


At Rest, in Motion

My fellow ADHD people! When you’re sitting or laying down, do you tend to feel more and more lethargic but also restless? Unmotivated and unfocused? Gluestuck in torpor? Do you feel more motivated and focused when you’re not just standing up but moving around? Or is that just a me thing?

I’ve become more aware that my mood and energy levels frequently drop like a tranqed bear when I’m sitting or lying down. Standing in place is better than sitting, but when I actually get moving, I tend to be more cheerful, positive, and energetic. I was never a physically hyperactive child–which is probably one of the reasons my ADHD went undiagnosed for so long–and exercise routines don’t do much for my mind, but more and more, I’m finding it harder to motivate myself and be mentally active when I’m being physically inactive. I wonder if that’s pretty typical for people with ADHD or if it’s more personal.